Toby Knapp

Toby Knapp

Dive into the captivating universe of Toby Knapp! Experience his authentic life story, engage on social media, revel in exclusive interviews,...Full Bio

 

#Clickbait: Mistakes + Grace = Purpose

A new formula for life stuff, thanks to Jason Flom... 

All of your mistakes + grace = purpose. 

I don't know about you, but I've made more than my fair share of mistakes in life. A ton. In relationships... with friendships... as a dad... as a colleague and co-worker... as a professional... as a teammate... as a human...  as a partner. I've made more mistakes than honestly, I can remember. Some I've tried to forget. Some I wish I could do over and some I wish I could take back. Others happened because everything happens for a reason. Others, as I was reminded over the last few hours and days... ended up being mistakes even though I didn't realize them at the time. 

Some I've made have kept me out of trouble... and others I've made have prepared me to serve others. 

All of them have taught me things... about me. Let me tell you about the most recent revelation I've had about mistakes and things... 

You can't go around blaming yourself for what some may perceive to be a mistake forever. You can't go holding it all inside. And what some might deem to be a 'mistake...' might just be the very things which make you who you are... or who you are becoming.

My therapist said to me in a session recently that she felt like, from our chats, she'd detected that I blamed myself for making what I felt were some mistakes in some areas of my life. Without getting too into 'stuff' for the sake of focus, let me just say that sometimes, I'm guilty of giving without really thinking about why I'm doing it... and sometimes I give just because I want to give and, truth, I can sometimes allow myself to be taken advantage of... 

"Like a condiment," someone said to me about this very thing. A reference to the fact that, from what a friend observed, underscored the fact that I have at times allowed myself to be used in some cases like a packet of ketchup served with a burger and fries at a drive-in. 

Or maybe gourmet mayo. If I was ketchup, I'd want to be 'Chups... but back to the story... 

So I would harbor up all this resentment inside of me... but what I've learned is that what I believed to be mistakes were actually missives. Things which served as teachable moments for me as I discover things about me I never really knew I had. 

Yeah. I've screwed up. Sure, I've had mis-steps. I'd love to go back and whisper to myself before making this thing or that thing happen... to stop myself from doing something I'd take back the next morning.. or before getting this thing or lining up that whatever for whomever or whatever. I'd love to go back and talk to myself hours before - days - before - even minutes before some moments I've played a part in which have ultimately been some of the most pivotal in my life... good or bad. 

I think it all comes down to feelings. And how you feel about you... and your mistakes. And you have a right to feel however you feel because your feelings are you. And no one has a right to change that - or them. But it all comes down to them. 

And you have to be honest about them.

When you learn this... and you begin to own how you feel... I think you begin to realize that all of those things you had happen which you - or the world - think are mistakes... weren't so bad after all. They're markers on this journey we call life. Moments. Some might call them mistakes, but to me, they were teachable moments... and those are moments worth having. 

Before I go tonight, let me just say this... if it's important... really important... you'll fix it. You don't leave your shoes untied unless you really just don't care. If it's important... really important... you'll pay attention to it. It won't be a sometimes sort of thing... unless, after all, it isn't really important at all. 


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